Hoard of the Dragon Queen

Death Hangover

Episode 4, Session 24

Life is full of lessons. Here is an example: Short people have robust livers. Whether you, as readers, benefit from my vast wisdom is up to you, but life is a sandbox where I love to learn and play.

Here are some things I have learned recently:

1. When it comes to drinking games- Show no mercy!
2. Bored elves see about as well as I do 23 beers in. Darkvision my ass!
3. When lizard folk sneak up on you in your sleep, be sure you have a paladin spooning you.
4. Don’t piss off witches.
5. (And this one is prophetic…) It doesn’t matter how many times you heal a mafia type. If you shoot a mafiosa, you might as well make sure no one hears about it.
6. If a random person shows up in your life who has little apparent value, and they manage to stay alive, there is probably a reason.
7. Not all food is poisoned (but let someone test it first).
8. Sometimes swampy logs are really alligators, and swampy bubbles are NOT farts.
9. Beware of lightning if you surround yourself in metal.
10. Dying sucks, long after you die.

Stay tuned to this journal for more pithy sayings.
-Artifax

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Thrakk jrodthehitman

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